November 10, 2017

A time inevitably comes when a therapist and client must part ways. Some people think a time limit needs to be set beforehand—for example, ten sessions—but I’m a firm believer that a person should be allowed to stay as long as he or she likes. I once had a client tell...

November 3, 2017

The last of the three major factors that promote change is the relationship between you and your counselor. Some people conceptualize the relationship as being helpful because it paves the way for "the important work." For example, if you like your counselor enough to...

October 27, 2017

The “space” of therapy means a few things.

There is, of course, the literal office space. Then there is the (ideally) regular appointment time, a space in your calendar that you set aside for therapy every week or every other week.

Finally, there is space in the sense th...

October 21, 2017

In my last post, I shared the idea that the activity, the space, and the relationship are the primary determinants of success in therapy, with a pinch of an extra, unknowable something in each case.

Although the activity, space, and relationship are all important compon...

October 14, 2017

Over the next few weeks, I am going to introduce my 30/30/30/10 rule of therapy and explain its components. First, let’s begin with what the concept is.

If you think about why therapy is helpful, the answer is not immediately obvious. In fact, the deeper you dive into t...

October 6, 2017

“Happily ever after,” an idea-fixture in our minds that is undoubtedly reinforced by our media, can make reality seem disappointing in contrast. Retirement is a good example. The narrative of retirement is certainly one of “sailing off into the sunset.” With your life’...

September 29, 2017

There are two basic ways people go acquiring their mental health needs.

The predominant way is to seek help only once your situation has become problematic. This is what people in the field refer to as “crisis-driven.” Scandinavian countries have even constructed a ment...

September 22, 2017

In my experience, I have mostly found that the only difference between people who are in therapy and those who are not is the environment surrounding them. In other words, people who have support systems that they can turn to in times of trouble are less likely to seek...

September 15, 2017

It's easy to assume that because therapists have training and experience in solving life’s issues, their own lives are pretty much perfect. It’s an easy assumption to make until you realize that therapists are not educated on what makes a good life, but rather on how t...

September 8, 2017

When people ask the question—“Why does therapy help?”—the answer usually has something to do with self-awareness, or self-knowledge. The idea is that the better you know yourself, the more you can control. It is narrative that permeates all levels of mental health, fro...

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